The results are now in and, suffice it to say, what a giant surprise.
Contrary to all expectations, Wyoming's voters, demonstrating independence of thought, rejected the creeping descent into fascism that the GOP was exhibiting, and the squirrel ball left group think of the Democratic Party, and wrote in thoughtful candidates instead.
First and foremost was the rejection of Harriet Hageman, the Republican nominee for the House of Representatives, who displaced Liz Cheney on the ballot. Rethinking the matter, voters elected Ernst Sepansky, a member of the American Solidarity Party.
"I'm surprised and honored" stated Sepansky. "Shoot, I didn't even know that most people knew I was running" Sepansky said, taking a break from his role as a sheep herder. "I'll have to find somebody to tend the sheep, but I'll be happy to go back to D.C. After all, I'm already used to smelly unthinking group think".
Rumor had it that Sepansky's employer, noting Hageman had come from a ranch as she frequently stated, was going to ask her if she'd like to return to more benighted employment while he is in Washington D.C.
The Secretary of State's position, in turn, was taken by independent Amanda Feliciano. Feliciano, presently a clerk in Harriet Hageman's law firm, stated; "look, it isn't as if Harriet or Chuck know how to file a @#$@#$ thing in real life. I've been filing these @#$#$@ UCC 3's for decades. Little Chucky can get a @#$#$ job for the first time in his life".
An effort to interview Mr. Gray failed as he could not be located. Sources indicate that he'd wandered away from Casper, fearful that this might mean he'd have to send out resumes for employment.
Results were similar down ballot, as voters rejected right wing Republican candidates for the legislature who had only recently secured their nominations.
Voters, coming out of their polling stations, gave an early clue as to what they were thinking.
Bob Edsel, an oilfield worker in Casper, was interviewed at the gas station after voting. He stated "Look, I was going to vote for the Republicans, but I was pulling 'Ol Betsy, my new lifted diesel D3500 into the gas station for the third time on the way to work, listening to ol' Dr. John on the YouTube talk about how Joe jacked up gas prices, when a Russian drone missile took the darned filling station out. I gots to thinking that Dr. John might not really be right about those 'ol fuel prices".
Katerina DeSantos spoke to us at her café job. "I'm opposed to abortion, but I’m worried about a lot of social issues otherwise. I spoke to my GOP candidate and asked him why he was in favor of the death penalty for parking violations, and he said it was in the Constitution. That was stupid."
A similar view was expressed by Ernst Darbonski about the school board election. "Mom's for Liberty? Liberty my @#$#. One of those gal's came by my house and told me that I'd be able to educate my children with a Christian world view, and when I said I was Ukrainian Orthodox she urged me to convert to Christianity. Ugh".
Kent Allred, the interim Secretary of State, indicated that he would certify the results. He was going to decline to, and came into the office packing heat, but a State Trooper, after warning him he couldn't come in armed, shot him.
"Dag nabbit", Allred stated, "I just wasn't fast enough on the draw."
Well. . . a person can always dream.
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