The Canned GOP Response

Mr. Senator, news is just out that Donald J. Trump has been indicted for complicity in a North Korean mass murder, and was actually filmed manning a North Korean machine gun mowing down political dissidents and later stomping on kittens. Given that, do you feel he should remain your party's candidate?

Thanks for that question, reporter.  Not in 200 years has such a political witch hunt been engaged in by Joe Biden and his Ukrainian stooges.  And by the way, this is all part of the radical Biden climate agenda.

How?

It just is.

Um, okay. Do you feel Trump should debate?

Thank you for that question. The Biden radical climate agenda is specifically designed to drive Wyomingites out of business and make them stooges of the People's Republic of China. . 

Um, the debate. . 

There's no debate about that.  Quit making me discuss the facts.

Are you endorsing Trump for 2024?

Thank you for that question.  First, let me note that even though it's so freaking hot outside that every resident of Alaska has had to check into the OR for third degree burns this week, what we really need to be endorsing is an end to Biden's radical climate agenda.  Why just today I went to the oval office and the thermostat was set for an indoor climate of 72. Can you imagine?

I think we can all get behind that.

And Trump?

Trump too.

Are you endorsing him?

Don't make me bring up Hunter Biden. . . I'm not afraid, too. . . 

So you are endorsing him?

I'm endorsing the endorsed that Wyomingites would and have endorsed when the endorsing is concluded, and I can safely claim to have always endorsed that person, whomever that is.